Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops