A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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A man walks into a bar

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Your mom went to college

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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