Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A bar walks into a man

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Joesph Triphook.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops