What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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no

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops