A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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women's rights

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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