John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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