Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

ask me if im a door yes

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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