How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops