a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so old, she might die soon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops