What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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