Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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