Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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hi jonny

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops