what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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