What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops