what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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