Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -14

there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops