What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops