what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

What's stupid a light bulb.

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

Flowers are colors Love me

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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