hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Brain fart

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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UN

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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