99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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