A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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69

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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What does? 42

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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