Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops