A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops