Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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