In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops