Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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