What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops