how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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