A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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