Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops