What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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