What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops