How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

In soviet Russia...things are different

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

Is your refrigerator running? No.

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

Why can't jokes spit?

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...