I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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