Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Where's the soap?

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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