What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...