a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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