What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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What stops a train? A missile

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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