a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops