why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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