:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

Know what's funny? Jokes.

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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