Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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