how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

If you are reading this you are a nerd

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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baloney sandwich

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

Lololol

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...