What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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