If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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