Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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