What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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