How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

angelo snyder is not ga

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops