Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Racial Equality

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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