whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Japan

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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