A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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