roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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