Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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