why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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