what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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