It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Katy Perry

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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