What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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